I started “The Defining Decade” a few days ago and am a stealthy zero pages into the actual copy. I’ve only read the introduction, but the book already gives me the urge to take notes and think deep about my defining decade, of which I’m still in the early stages of.
I’m 23 years old living in New York City and, while serious about my career and opportunity-oriented, have adopted a touch of the “I’m living my best young-20-something years in New York!” mindset that spans the streets.
What that’s done is put my mind at conflict. Can I live the life, make the mistakes, have the fun you’re supposed to – and more importantly, seemingly allowed to – in your early 20s while also setting myself up to be where I professionally want to be by 30...35?
Insert “The Defining Decade: Why your Twenties matter and how to make the most of them now.” A book chopped up into three sections.
In “Work,” we’ll find out why the jobs we have in our 20s are likely the most professionally and economically consequential. In “Love,” we’ll hear why the choices we make in relationships in our 20s may be more important than those we make at work. In “The Brain and the Body,” we’ll learn how our still-developing brains wire us to be the adults we’re soon to become.
Gulp.
When, according to the book, 80 percent of life’s most defining moments take place by age 35, you could say this book seems like another existential crisis in-reading for me (IYKYK). Instead, I’m hoping it provides comfort, growth and guidance.
Based off of the three sections of the book, here are questions I’m hoping to get answered:
1. Can we have it all – a successful career, relationship and social life?
2. How do others handle being exactly where they need to be – professionally or socially – and still feeling lost?
3. Who am I?
The last one is a question I used to never think twice about. Then, on a random Tuesday, I saw a TikTok about a father who started therapy because he couldn’t answer the question, “Who am I?” He had to respond without including any of his titles. No “manager” or “dad” descriptions allowed. He couldn’t think of anything.
Without my professional accomplishments, favorite written pieces and players interviewed, who am I? A reporter who wants to connect people through the written word is what I do, it isn’t who I am.
While I’ve been thinking and working on the definition of “Lauren,” I’m hoping “The Defining Decade” can help round it out. As a bonus, I want to discover more than who I am, but who I hope to be.
Don't worry, I'll be bringing the blog along the journey through these pages of self-discovery and -love.
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